on life

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~ excerpts from a while before ~

some of thought. some downloads. some insights. sometimes in truth. sometimes in truth for that moment only. sometimes contextual. as it is.

4 the universe has an ego. the universe experiences her ego through us.

4 self knowing
things need to identify themselves as separate in order to experience themselves. the universe needs a sense of separation in order to experience different expressions of itself.

4 happiness and truth
universe - different expressions of itself manifested. purpose, to come into alignment with that expression. depression if we are not in alignment. look to childhood to see clues as to how we naturally expressed ourselves. what moved me as a kid? moving from one side, then totally to the other, then coming to centre with awareness of illusion and knowing of both.

4 dinosaurs
planet been here for billions of years, always changing, moving, life forms coming into being, growing, dying, reforming. dinosaurs lived here, then conditions not working for dinosaurs. so no more dinosaurs. conditions soon not good for many life forms ~ planet over-populated by people, out of balance, and so many species dying. and maybe most of us die too, from disease, draught, poison. then planet starts from "beginning" and new life forms come into existance. planet takes time to heal, to come back into "balance". we're all waking up now because we face death.

4 seeing the universe through human eyes is one of the highest experiences of self-knowing.. if we are awake.

4 self knowing
the universe/spirit/god experiences itself through the manifest world, through different beings. but will she ever know herself?
we experience ourselves though life, through the manifest world, through our different senses. but will we ever know ourself?
is that our purpose? to know? is it the purpose of the universe fo know herself? or just an experience? all that there is to experience.. all the possibilities.
and then what? what would happen when that knowing becomes? when we know? when the universe realises? awakening into knowingness? will there just then be a continuous pulsating experience ~ continuing to experience herself but this time with awareness? this then reflects on us ~ what now? this sudden understanding and awareness to all that is, now what, me being a part of the universe experiencing herself through me. more people shifting into this awareness - but what now to do with this awareness? continue living in this experience? or start to see what parts of this planet have been damaged in the process of seeking self-knowledge and start to heal those parts, understanding and knowing how we/i might be able to experience myself without pain ~ like being tangled in a giant ball of yarn ~ wanting to enter it and experience this entanglement, for what is yarn? and then through the awareness of interconnectedness, and through constant seeking to understand, the tangles get even more entwined and uncomfortable, so now starting to untangle areas because now with a grater knowledge of awareness. and once all the twine has been untangled, then what?
because human beings may be best tool so far for self-awareness and knowing, the universe is now aware of this process (before it was just happening, and the universe just observed this happening) things just happened - unmanifest toward manifest, and now the awareness is born that the reason this happened is for seeking self-knowing.

4 now aware of this journey of seeking the self, and now also aware that humans may be the best tool to hold this self-awareness, it's now even more important to move towards sustainability and planetary healing in order to hold this tool and aspect of awareness. the universe only experiences the present moment ~ and only since humans arrived, did we start documenting the physical process. history, dinosaurs, what's been happening. through humans, the universe gets a broader overall view of herself ~ what's been happening, what the physical world looks like, the understanding of evolution.

4 ego
we are all god/spirit looking out onto the manifest world, yet what separates god's essence from the manifest world is the barrier of ego.
ego is the block ~ it blocks us from remembering god; our true essence; it's a barrier in which we forget. ego experiences separation. ego experiences fear. ego experiences fighting to get somewhere.
when we are able to let our essence surface, all that is left is great spirit peering out through our eyes at the manifest world observing all that is around him/her. here there is no resistance, there there is only pure connection to source, here there is enlightenment and perfect flow.
once this is how it was always, but over many many years, spirit in manifested form started believing that this was all he was, and started identifying with the manifest world. and over the years, the block, the layer, the ego, grew thicker and harder to penetrate. then recently spirit became aware of this phenomenan, and started sending out beings to correct this happening. the above can also be explained like the heel of a foot slowly growing callusses and forgetting the softness it once was, and the feel of grass.

4 infinity
everything has an opposite. (the symbol of infinity) one side is the manifest, the other side is the non-manifest, is spirit. where there is "thing" there is "no-thing" in the unmanifest.
i am sitting here now with you, close, in separate bodies, and even this has an opposite ~ in the unmanifest world, there is no separation, no specific place, we are omnipresent - everwhere and no-where.

4 happiness and truth
we arrive here with a blueprint of who we really are, and only when we are exactly that, without judgement or fear of being that, then we can be truly happy. same with all creatures. an animal can be truly happy if it is allowed to be exactly that. what makes a chicken happy? being a chicken. what does being a chicken look like? scratching, perching, dustbaths etc. anything else is not good enough. cruelty is not allowing a being to be what it is.

4 self knowing
moving from one side/space/being/polarity to the other in order to understand the first. and then in that space, all i experience is the side i am on. light can only experience itself through it's opposite, the darkness. and yet in the darkness, there is only darkness that is experienced, and light may forget light? so it needs to move from light to dark to light to really understand both. when i'm in the manifest world, in order to really see what it is like, i take the perspective of the unmanifest. yet when i'm in the unmanifest awareness, that's all i see.

4 polarity
from the unmanifest world, souls project themselves into the manifest world. i had this image of people being like puppets on strings, or projection beams. beings in the unmanifest world project images of themselves onto the manifest canvas and interact from there. (both polarities are present all the time on the opposite sides of infinity)

4 gratitude
when i really feel gratitude, it is no to anyone or anything and neither is it specific. for this feeling of gratitude is felt in my centre, and the centre that i am aware of is the very centre of the planet, of the universe, the centre that readiates outwards, and simultaneously holds all that is, infinity

4 infinity
is not big, it is tiny. for within each miniscule infinite tinyness, is the infinite everythingness.

4 of time
that if logged time didn't exist (or maybe communication), i would never be able to make an appointment to meet you at a certain time in the future. therefore all meetings i do have would be synergetic encounters, they would be perfect, as i couldn't be anywhere other than here at this moment. and my life would be more blissful, as i'd only move if i had a need to move. otherwise i'd stay put once i felt the situation/space was nurturing and fulfilling.

4 still mind
what do i do to release the mind and busyness and be in the space where i really know my needs? visualisation of snipping. snipping all that is around me and letting the busyness fall, so all there is is stillness and clarity.